Halloween: A Scary Day for Parents
October 18, 2017
Halloween is a time when the monsters, goblins and demons come out. And as much as we love our kids, moms also know there is no monster more terrifying than â€˜Kid Who’s Halloween Is Not Going Exactly to Plan’. Do you have one lurking in your house? Here are the signs to watch out for:
- The first costume they want is a complete safety hazard. The kid may be focused on how cool they’re going to look in that cape made of some sort of extra-flammable synthetic material with a name that’s 17 letters long and thoroughly unpronounceable. If they don’t immediately trip on the way out the door, you’ve got visions of them catching the thing on fire when they walk by the very first jack o’ lantern. Would following them on their whole trick-or-treating route with a fire extinguisher forfeit any chance you’ve got of winning that elusive Cool Mom status?
- Friend/sibling/schoolyard nemesis wants the same costume as them and, as far as kid is concerned, there can only be one. Now you’ve got two options: Highlander-style swordfight with the maker of the offending copycat costume or last-minute crafting/sewing binge to create a backup costume. Pick your poison.
- They lose the most important part of their costume before they’ve even visited five houses and refuse to continue until it is found. We recommend bringing a flashlight the size of the Bat signal. You’ll be glad you did when you’re searching through your neighbour’s pile of leaves and twigs for your kid’s Harry Potter wand (which, incidentally, looks an awful lot like all the other twigs in there).
- They voice their disappointment out loud to the neighbour who is handing out toothbrushes. In all fairness, that neighbour had it coming. Seriously, toothbrushes? Who does that!?
- They heard there is a house somewhere that is handing out full-size candy bars and they just can’t find it. This house is basically the El Dorado of suburban Halloweens everywhere, and it’s just as elusive.
- They think trick-or-treating is for kids, but lugging the bag between houses is for parents. Silver lining: you’ll have Michelle Obama arms by the time the night is over.
- Their friend or sibling got more candy than them it this will not stand. Be prepared to teach some impromptu lessons on division, fractions, sharing and the great unfairness in this world.
- No matter what flavour the treats are, it’s the wrong one. Can science please hurry up and invent chips that change flavour on command?
- Post-Halloween sugar high turns kids into real It’s like Gremlins, but the do-not-feed threshold is waaaay before midnight.
- Kid said they could totally handle watching the scary movie. Kid was wrong and now you’ve got an extra bedmate for the night. And they will be extra sweaty, and their feet will be super clammy.
Which real-life hilarious Halloween horror moments have your family experienced? Share them with us over on the Maple Lodge Farms Facebook Page!
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